Christmas is the Saddest Time of Year
by Qweb
Summary: Chin faces Christmas without Malia.


**_Dedicated to my friend Angelofjoy_**

* * *

**Christmas is the Saddest Time of Year**

"Maybe I should become a Buddhist," Chin Ho Kelly thought sadly.

After two years of elation, Christmas had become torment. Two years ago, Chin had still been dazed by his good fortune after his friends had risked their lives and their futures to save him from a bomb strapped around his neck.

Then last year his joy had overflowed. It was his first — and only — Christmas with his beloved wife Malia. They were still on their honeymoon at Christmas and he didn't think he ever stopped smiling. His cheeks ached when he woke up in the morning from smiling in his sleep.

But now she was gone. Murdered just because she was Chin's wife. Now Chin faced his wedding anniversary alone and Christmas had become the saddest time of year. Every Santa he saw, every twinkling light, every ringing bell stabbed him like a dagger, reminding him of what he had lost.

In a fury of grief, he had purged Christmas from his home. He shoved Malia's collection of decorations to the back of the closet and threw a blanket over it so he couldn't see the red and green box. He unceremoniously dumped the outdoor lights in the trash and gave the front door wreath to a cousin who lived on Maui. He kept his curtains closed so he couldn't see the neighbors' lights.

The only thing in his house that spoke of Christmas was the group photo of his wedding.

Chin turned the happy picture to the wall, choosing to focus on the portrait of his bride alone and the picture of the two of them. Neither picture had holiday décor.

But the bare back of the group photo kept drawing his eye. He couldn't keep his hands away from it and repeatedly turned it around. Surrounded by their friends, he and Malia stood between two palm trees wrapped in Christmas lights. Everyone was laughing at a snide comment Danny Williams had made about the "Christmas tree abominations." They'd all been so happy last Christmas.

The memory of that vanished happiness jabbed him again and he roughly placed the photo face down on the shelf.

A knock came at the door, not a friendly tap but the measured thumping of a police officer serving a warrant.

"Chin Ho Kelly, this is the police! Open the door right now."

Chin rolled his eyes and opened the door.

"Danny, what's going on?" he asked his friend who staggered back and blinked owlishly in the flood of light from inside. "Are you drunk?" Chin demanded.

Danny grinned. "No, ossifer, I haven't been drinking at all," he slurred, pushing past Chin to enter the house.

There was no smell of liquor from the smaller man and his twinkling eyes were clear. Chin realized his friend was putting him on, trying to make him smile. And it worked, Chin thought ruefully.

"That's better," Danny said, seeing Chin's expression lighten.

"What's going on?" Chin asked.

"I've been delegated to bring you to the annual Five-0 Christmas party."

"Danny, I don't …"

"I know you don't," the divorced man told the recent widower. Danny put his hands on Chin's shoulders. "Believe me, I know. But you need to be with us and we need to be with you. You're not alone, brother. Besides," Danny said briskly. "If you don't come back with me, McGarrett will kick your door down and drag you to his house in cuffs."

"He would, wouldn't he?"

"You know it."

Chin still hesitated. Danny shook his head.

"Malia wouldn't want you to hide away here. Look, there won't be any plus-ones, not even Grace. Gabby is still in D.C. Max's girlfriend is still recuperating in the nursing home."

And Kono wouldn't dare to bring Adam to a Five-0 party.

"What about Catherine?" Chin asked, not arguing, just curious.

"Danny shrugged. "Catherine's done so many work favors for Steve that she really could be considered an honorary member of F ive-0, but, as it happens, her commanding officer "invited" her to a holiday party.

"A command appearance."

"Exactly. It's a Five-0 office party, Chin. Us, Max, maybe Fong and a couple of other techs. We all want you to come. And I need your help to carry the Chantilly Cake," Danny added slyly.

"A Liliha Bakery Chantilly Cake?" Chin's appetite came back in a rush.

"Of course," Danny said.

"OK, you've persuaded me," Chin said.

"Good." They went out to the Camaro and Danny plunked a Santa hat on Chin's head. "Now we can go."

Driving on Beretania they passed the Buddhist temple where a shaven-headed monk stood on the corner wearing saffron robes and … a Santa hat?

"Hey, hold it for a minute, Danny," Chin said.

He hopped out of the Camaro and approached the Chinese monk, who bowed. "Sir, would you wish to contribute to our charity fund?" the monk asked. "Every year at this time the Buddha Light organization collects money for the unfortunates in our community."

"At Christmas?" Chin asked.

"It is the expected season of giving and winter is when families need the most help." The monk grinned. "Though, admittedly, the need for shelter from cold weather is not as great in Hawaii as in other places. But even in paradise, people need food and clothing."

"Does it all go to Buddhists?" Danny asked curiously, as he dropped a ten into the basket.

"Most does not," the monk replied. "We help some in our congregation, but we also seek advice from our local schools regarding families most in need."

"It sounds like a worthy cause," Chin said, contributing a twenty.

"So, what was that about?" Danny asked as they walked back to the Camaro.

"Just a passing thought," Chin said. Danny interrogated him with his eyes and Chin elaborated. "I thought I could avoid Christmas by becoming a Buddhist, but now I see that's silly. Christmas is unavoidable."

The man who would not be spending Christmas with his daughter shared a look of complete understanding with the man who would not be spending Christmas with his wife. Both men would be doomed to lonely holidays, if it weren't for their Five-0 family.

"All you can do is grin and bear it," Danny said grimly.

"And eat two slices of Chantilly Cake."

"We can do this with the help of our ohana," Danny encouraged them both.

"And maybe three pieces of cake," Chin suggested.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

_A/N: I know Buddha Light from Hacienda Heights, California. They do indeed collect for the needy during the winter holidays and they do have a branch in Honolulu._

_And, will anyone be reading next Tuesday, Christmas Day, or the following, New Year's Day? Of should I adjust my posting schedule. I posted "Murder Stinks" last New Year's Eve and it hardly got noticed. And that makes me pout._


End file.
